


What kind of pathetic sex only lasts for ten seconds?

by einsKai



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Getting Together, Happy Birthday Ryuu, Humor, I did my best to make it the worst it could possibly be, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Ryuu and Yamato are discussing it in the end and they break it down they don't like it either, Seme/Uke Dynamics at their best, TRIGGER are a family, TRIGGER friendship, There's a slightly homophobic slur, Written for Ryuu's birthday 2k18, a horribly cliched BL Drama, also background GakuTenn because I'm the GakuTenn Jesus, but don't worry, mentioned dubious consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-20 21:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16145780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/einsKai/pseuds/einsKai
Summary: “I assume you’re here for the same purpose as I am?”“It’s the Drama CD, right?”“The BL one, yes.”





	What kind of pathetic sex only lasts for ten seconds?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to... this. 
> 
> [@TsubakiFucker](https://twitter.com/TsubakiFucker) on Twitter tweeted ["Yamato and Ryuu getting flustered at the same time is extra good Can they canonically work on a bl together please LMAO"](https://twitter.com/TsubakiFucker/status/1040478285883494400) and I just had to write it.
> 
> So here, have the most horrible BL drama ever, featuring embarassed Ryuu and TRIGGER friendship plus some romance at the end!
> 
> Beware of some homophobic language and dubcon that's typical for BL dramas. I toned it down, as I myself am pretty uncomfortable with that, but still! Careful if you can't deal with stuff like that. Always remember that it's fine to stop reading things you don't like.
> 
> Thanks to The Almighty Prince Shion for coming up with these glorious names! 
> 
> Have fun reading!
> 
> \- Kai

“Sorry Gaku, I have to hang up… Yes, I’ll be back in the evening. It’s just this job left… Yes, the recording for the Drama CD of that one famous BL manga… Yeah the one Tenn found in my room and that you two acted out aloud in the living room. Stop teasing me about it! I didn’t choose this image… Yes, bye. See you later.”

“Tsunashi-san?”

Ryuu almost choked on air. “ _Yamato-kun_?!”

From his phone he could hear Gaku’s traitorous laughter. His friend hadn’t hung up yet, and had heard of Ryuu’s dilemma first hand.

“I’m going to tell Tenn that you won’t be coming home after all”, Gaku said, “Have fun with Nikaido, Ryuu~”

“Gaku, no, you can’t do this to me!”, Ryuu almost screamed into the phone, but this time his groupmate had actually hung up. Ryuu sighed and put his phone back into his pocket.

“Hello Yamato-kun”, he greeted the leader of IDOLiSH7, “I assume you’re here for the same purpose as I am?”

“I guess so?”, Yamato said, “It’s the Drama CD, right?”

“The BL one, yes.”

“Nice, at least I know someone on set then. It’s my first time doing anything like this. What’s your role?”

“I was cast as Aseme-senpai.”

“We’ll be working closely together then, _Aseme-senpai_ ”, Yamato said, and Ryuu felt his face flush a bright red.

This was the worst case scenario. Working on a BL Drama CD was one thing, he could do that, had done so before in fact. It was embarrassing, but he could get through it with professionalism and his practiced role he played when working.  
But being in a BL Drama CD with his long term crush and acting as each other’s love interests? Ryuu would die of embarrassment.

“So you’re Uketarou-kun?”

“Yep”, Yamato pushed up his glasses in what seemed to be a nervous gesture, “He’s a little different from other roles I’ve played so far. But I’m glad that I’ll have you with me then. I’ll be relying on your support and guidance, _Aseme-senpai_.”

“Please stop calling me that”, Ryuu squirmed.

“He really doesn’t have a lot in common with you.”

“He doesn’t. You can’t imagine how much Tenn and Gaku laughed at me when they found out what kind of role this would be.”

“About as much as Mitsu and Nagi did, probably.”

“…I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t have it any better. Should we go in?”

“That’s probably a good idea, yes.”

The two of them entered the building where the studio was located. In silence they rode the elevator up to the studio. The director, a young man, greeted the two of them warmly, and explained that they were planning to record the whole drama on this day. It should only cover the story of their characters, which was why no other voice actors would be present. There would be parts of them in the other tracks of the drama CD, but they were minor and could also get recorded today.

Ryuu and Yamato both greeted the production team and thanked them for being allowed to be there, until they were told to get into the recording room.

They started with the minor scenes for the other dramas, kind of as a warm-up before their main story, and to get it out of the way.

After they had finished that, Yamato began, as he was playing Uketarou-kun, who was the main character of this drama. He talked about his working environment and how boring it was, how incredibly annoying all of his female co-workers were, because they had found out that he was gay and that they tried to set him up with every man that he just happened to talk to. Wasn’t he allowed to have a normal conversation with a friend or a co-worker anymore?

The voice Yamato used for Uketarou-kun was… fascinating. It varied a lot from his usual pitch, way higher, and a little effeminate. It was amazing how well Yamato could switch characters; Ryuu had also noticed that when he happened to watch the dramas the other acted in. Not that he had been… looking out for those.  
Ah, who was he trying to kid. Gaku and Tenn already knew what was up, and Ryuu couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

_“…but then, on that fateful day, when I was moving to my new department… he came into my life. When I laid my eyes upon him I immediately fell in love.”_

That was Ryuu’s cue. He stepped closer to the microphone and used his best deep growl that was supposed to imitate a businessman who was tired of his life and very, very done with everything, especially with dealing with a newbie.

_“Uketarou-kun? Yes, your desk is over there. Don’t disturb anyone. Work for yourself. I’m not responsible for any mistakes you make.”_

_“Y-Yes Aseme-san..!”_

_“Senpai, it’s ‘senpai’”, Aseme-senpai growled again._

Jeez, all this growling would hurt Ryuu’s throat at this rate. He should really up his level of voice acting if he wanted to continue being cast for commercials, drama CDs and maybe even anime.

Without missing a beat Yamato continued the script. He talked about how Uketarou-kun slowly got comfortable in his new environment and how he got to know Aseme-senpai better, and only fell more deeply for him. The cold attitude and his looks seemed to be the main points of attraction for Uketarou-kun, and Ryuu questioned what kind of person would be attracted to someone who treated them coldly. But then again, Gaku and Tenn had somehow worked out as well.  
No, this was very different from Gaku and Tenn’s relationship. They didn’t actually hate each other; Aseme-senpai did hate Uketarou-kun. At least that was what the director told Ryuu to act like.

They had now reached a scene where the two colleagues had gone drinking with some other people and were left alone. Aseme-senpai was more drunk than Uketarou-kun, and was hanging off Uketarou-kun’s shoulder for support. How that was supposed to work Ryuu didn’t know, because Uketarou-kun wasn’t even half the mass of Aseme-senpai in the source material. That was like giving IDOLiSH7’s Izumi Mitsuki the task to carry Ryuu. Also it made Ryuu think about the body standards in the manga. Ah, BL really was strange, wasn’t it…

_“Uketarou-kun”, Aseme-senpai slurred when the two of them had reached his apartment. Uketarou-kun had opened the door and was now closing it again._

_“Yes, Aseme-senpai?”, he asked. Aseme-senpai pushed him against the closed door, and came close to his face._

_“You’re a_ h-homo _, Uketarou-kun, aren’t you?”_

“Stop right there, Tsunashi-san”, the director interrupted them. It wasn’t the first time they had been interrupted this day of recordings, but it was the first time the interruption had been this forceful, “You can’t make Aseme-senpai stutter! He may be drunk, but he is still the dominant power in this relationship. You get me?”

“Uhh… yes?”, Ryuu answered. In truth he hadn’t acted at all. What he had been doing was breaking the character. He personally didn’t want to call anyone a “homo”. It was insulting, and Ryuu hated insulting people. For a second he contemplated asking if they could change the script, but he also knew that this wouldn’t be possible.

_“You’re a homo, Uketarou-kun, aren’t you?”_

Ryuu let out a small breath of relief. He had gotten the worst part behind him. Well, one of the worst parts.

_“I… I guess?”, Uketarou-kun stammered. He was still trapped between the door and Aseme-senpai’s body._

_“Doing it with a man… doesn’t that feel horrible?”, Aseme-senpai curiously asked._

“Do that one again, but a little more disgusted than curious!”, the director said.

_“Doing it with a man… doesn’t that feel horrible?”. Aseme-senpai asked, disgust clear in his voice._

Ryuu felt sick about his own words.

 _“…”, Uketarou didn’t answer this question. He just turned his head away from the other man, whom he had given his heart so foolishly._ At least that was what Yamato narrated.

_Aseme-senpai grabbed Uketarou-kun’s chin and forced him to look at him. Then he leaned forward to kiss him._

They had to record this scene twice, one time Ryuu and Yamato had to make obscene kissing noises into the microphone, and Ryuu really felt like his face couldn’t get any redder anymore, and once Yamato had to narrate the whole ordeal. The kissing would become the background noise for the narration in the final cut, or so the director said.

_“His lips were rough on mine, forceful. It was everything I had ever dared to dream of. Aseme-senpai was kissing me! He was really kissing me!”_

Ryuu questioned Uketarou-kun’s sanity.

_“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you, Uketarou-kun?”, Aseme-senpai asked._

_Uketarou-kun whimpered as an answer. A soft gasp could be heard, when the two of them shifted positions, Aseme-senpai getting even closer than he had been before._

_“You really like me, huh?”_

_“N-no Aseme-senpai, I don’t… not really… I mean, I promise I won’t – ah…!”_

The yelp Yamato let out made Ryuu feel a wide variety of strange feelings he didn’t want to explore right now. Especially because the unnatural pitch made it sound like it was someone else speaking through Yamato.

 _“Your mouth is saying no, but_ this other part of you _is saying otherwise.”_

“Tsunashi-san, please stick to the script.”

Ryuu felt his face burn even brighter, and even Yamato next to him shifted uncomfortably. This BL Drama would prevent him from ever looking Yamato into the eyes again.

 _“Your mouth is saying no, but your_ p-penis _is saying otherwise.”_

“Tsunashi-san, do you need a break?”, the director’s voice was harsh, but also genuinely worried. They hadn’t taken a break yet after all, even though they had been recording for a while now.

“No, I can-“, Ryuu was interrupted by Yamato. Really, how did he not have angel wings and a halo?

“I would like a break. We’re getting close to that really difficult scene, and having a breather before would be good”, he looked over at Ryuu, as if he was worried about him.

Ryuu nodded slightly.

The break was announced, the recording interrupted.

The air outside of the studio was cold, unsurprising for the season.

Gaku picked up almost immediately, as if he had been on ‘taking care of Ryuu’-call duty. Well, all of TRIGGER were usually on ‘taking care of each other’-call duty, but still.

“Ryuu, don’t worry, you can do this”, he said, just when Ryuu was about to whine how he absolutely couldn’t do this.

“It’s the line Gaku”, he said instead, “You know, the one that you and Tenn made fun of.”

“The ‘penis’ one?”, Gaku snickered, “Yeah, that one is tricky. But remember how Tenn and I did it?”

Ryuu sighed. “You made fun of it.”

“Even though it’s a serious line, in a drama that’s supposed to be romance, but is actually very barely not rape.”

“Don’t say it like that!”

“Well, it’s the truth though.”

“But–“

“Call it by its name Ryuu. And do just that with that line too. You can do it.”

“Yeah Ryuu. Professionalism”, Tenn’s voice came from the back.

Ryuu sighed. “Alright. Thank you. I’ll try.”

“Do or do not, there is no try”, Gaku said, and a slap was heard from the other side of the line. They had done a Star Wars marathon the other weekend, and Gaku just couldn’t stop quoting the movies. It was annoying Tenn to no end, and his reaction was always like the slap Ryuu had just heard.

While Gaku complained and Tenn argued back, as always, Ryuu smiled and ended the phone call.

He took a deep breath and braced himself. Then he turned around and walked inside again.

‘Thank you’, Ryuu mouthed into Yamato’s direction, and the recording began anew.

_“Your mouth is saying no, but your penis is saying otherwise.”_

_“A-ah… Aseme-s– hngh! Aseme-senpai, don’t touch me th-there…!”_

_“You want to do it, right? You want to do it with me.”_

_“N-no I don–“, Uketarou-kun mewled, as Aseme-senpai picked him up and kissed him again, shutting him up for good this time._

_They changed their location to the bed, and immediately after undressing the two began having sex._

Ryuu marvelled at how fast the two progressed. Within a few seconds they were naked and already fucking like rabbits, and it was over just as quickly. Who wrote these scripts? That person’s sex life was sad, if their intercourse only lasted for about ten seconds.

_“And that was, how Aseme-senpai and I began our loving relationship!”, Uketarou-kun closed their story._

Again, Ryuu was confused. “Loving relationship”? He couldn’t see that anywhere. Aseme-senpai still hated poor Uketarou-kun. Having sex equalled love? Since when was that the case? He sighed.

Next to him, Yamato relaxed, finally breaking character. He turned around to Ryuu and grinned at him. “Say, Tsunashi-san, how about we get drinks together?”

 

That was how they had gotten here, a few hours later in this bar, a few drinks in, and deeply engrossed into a conversation about the drama they had just recorded.

“But that’s such a wrong image! Gay relationships don’t work that way”, Ryuu said.

“I hope for all people on this earth that no relationship works that way”, Yamato said and smiled, “But it’s the genre, I guess. Nagi said ‘ _Oh_! This is the most _stereotypical_ script I have ever seen!’ when I showed him.”

Ryuu laughed at Yamato’s attempt at imitating Nagi.

“I haven’t looked that deeply into the BL Dramas I have recorded until this day, but this particular one was especially bad”, Ryuu said, “I mean, Aseme-senpai basically invaded Uketarou-kun’s personal space and slept with him, even though he said no. That’s assault!”

“As if sex equalled love. I know of couples who don’t have sex, and they’re still unmistakably in love”, Yamato mumbled, “And Uketarou-kun only fell more in love with Aseme-senpai, after he did that to him.”

“Is that really love?”, Ryuu sighed. It was a rhetorical question, and he hoped Yamato understood that.

“I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t know”, Yamato said, “I’ve never been in love.”

“I have. I am.”, Ryuu said without thinking. He realised what he had said immediately after, and his shoulders began hanging a little. He really should have kept that to himself.

“Is this the part where you confess your feelings for me?”, Yamato teased.

“And if it was?”, Ryuu didn’t know if this was the alcohol giving him liquid courage or actual confidence he had found inside of him, but the answer was way more cocky than he had intended it to be.

“Well…”, Yamato looked up from his beer. His eyes met Ryuu’s with an earnestness Ryuu hadn’t expected in this situation, “If that were so I’d have to admit that I lied.”

“You… lied?”

“I have been in love before. In fact, I am in love with someone right now.”

Ryuu’s breath got caught in his throat, as Yamato leaned over the table between them and let his lips brush against Ryuu’s. It was only a brief contact, but he felt as if it lasted an eternity. How clichéd, Ryuu thought, he could almost hear Gaku and Tenn laugh at him in his mind.

“I really like you Yamato-kun”, Ryuu said when Yamato had pulled back, the touch of his fingers still lingering on Ryuu’s cheeks.

“Got it”, Yamato chuckled, “I like you too. Let’s go out like this more often then, huh?”

“That sounds good to me”, Ryuu said.

Under the table Yamato reached for his hand, and even though nobody would have been able to see them in their booth in the last corner of the dimly lit bar they had chosen, Ryuu was thankful for the privacy and intimacy of that hidden touch.

He squeezed Yamato’s hand. Yamato squeezed back.

“So, does that mean you’re paying for the booze, _Aseme-senpai_?”

“Hey!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Leave a comment if you liked it :D
> 
> If you want to scream at me about anything you can do so on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/eins__kai) or [tumblr](https://einskai.tumblr.com/)~
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> \- Kai


End file.
